


Trump Wars

by Erinzozo



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dictatorships, Multi, bad hair, supreme leaderness, wearing suits when innapropriate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:23:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erinzozo/pseuds/Erinzozo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donald Trump wishes to seize control of America but first he must earn a high place in the polls. In order to do so he creates a portal which allows him to travel to other universes. He travels to the Star Wars universe where he can learn the art of mind trickery alongside some of the most powerful force sensitives. Will his squirrel hair help him in this venture? Donald Trump x Snoke (Strump) with some Reylo</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Through the Trump Portal

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally on FanFiction.net but I moved it over because I prefer this website. Enjoy the strump ^-^

Chapter 1 – Through the Trump Portal

To many a window may appear as a useful but bland object. Often taken for granted; windows sit idly while we go about our day to day lives. However, to Donald, windows are most important. So important that he spends much of his time sat facing one. The large window located on the highest floor of Trump Tower is his favourite as it allows him to see a large part of the city below. Sometimes he wonders if the city stares back.

Donald perched on a large leather chair in his usual spot next to the window. He sipped his coffee while his eyes scoured the city bustling below him. He liked this area, it made him feel superior. The grey walls reflected the light and made the office feel open while the single desk in the centre looked much too small for the room.

Donald wheeled his chair over to the desk and checked his smartphone. He huffed as he noted that he was losing in the current polls. Picking up a dart he flicked his hand in the direction of a Hillary Clinton poster. He missed.

Trump flinched as a nearby desk-phone rang. Before answering he glanced back over to the city.

“Soon you will be mine,” He whispered deviously. The phone felt cold in his hand as he lifted it to his ear.

“Yes?” Donald questioned.

“Sir, you are requested on the lower floors. They told me to tell you it’s code 2187 sir,” A clear voice sounded through the phone.

“Well you tell them I said I’m on my way,” Donald replied as he rose off of the chair and looked one final time back to the city before sighing and marching to the door.

As he reached the elevator he looked behind him to check for followers. With no one there he stepped into the elevator. As the silver doors closed he moved quickly over to the keypad. He hovered his fingers over the word ‘Trump’ and tapped the ‘T’ twice followed sharply by the letter ‘P’. A ping played quietly and he smiled to himself. He expected good news from the scientists. The elevator plunged down through the tower at a rapid pace but didn’t stop at the ground floor. In fact, it travelled continuously down for a good minute before coming to a halt. The doors opened dramatically and he stepped out with his head held high.

The lab he entered was filled with people. Running like mice they worked on different stations. The walls were painted a clinical white colour and silver aluminium tables were scattered around the room. Thick panes shielded the scientists from ongoing experiments. Trump did not look around for he knew exactly where he was going. 

A scientist with a crisp white coat and grey hair walked forward to greet Donald as soon as he saw him.

“Mr Donald Trump Sir,” He dipped his head in a respectful tone.

“I trust project 2187 is going well,” Donald spoke whilst beginning to march to his destination.

“Yes Sir quite well. We believe it is actually complete and safe for human use,” The scientist replied as he caught up to Trump.

“Believe?” He questioned and his beady eyes pierced down upon the scientist.

“What I meant to say sir is it is complete and fully functional. It will take you to your desired location in one piece,” The scientist stuttered and almost stumbled over his feet as he stopped outside a glass door. “It’s through here sir,” He held the door open for his boss.

Donald went through the open door and his eyes rested on the contraption residing inside. The walls were clear and he could see everyone working outside. There was a silver metal circle in the centre of the room. Nuts and bolt dotted the circumference and it was connected to multiple wires which were connected to many different computers and machines. There were three scientists in the room. One was standing next to the machine while two others worked away at computers.

“Donald,” The scientist who was stood by the machine smiled. Trump nodded his head in turn and returned the smile.

“Gerald,” Donald replied. Gerald cleared his throat in the direction of the two other scientists and they stood up immediately and left the room. His face turned back to Trump and he began to speak.

“The portal we have worked on is finally complete. Just as we suspected, the Star Wars universe is a real universe and this portal should get you there. May I ask though, how do you plan on acquiring the force powers? I always thought you had to be born with them” Gerald’s smile vanished and his cold hard expression returned. Donald chuckled quietly and shook his head.

“The force surrounds all of us Gerald. After seeing the movies several times I have reached the conclusion that I am indeed force sensitive I just need to grow my powers. Once I have mastered them I shall return and use mind tricks to…” Donald stopped. His eyes tightened looking for the right word. “Encourage the people of America to vote for me.” He finished and waited for a response from Gerald. 

“That is a very thoughtful plan. I struggle to believe we actually managed to create this machine. It took some time but we did it in the end. Now you shall embark on your journey. I personally suggest you find Luke Skywalker. He’ll help you with your powers,” Gerald spoke with an almost emotional tone.

“I think you’ll find I have a much different plan my friend but thanks for the advice. I would like to leave now if that’s alright with you,” Donald lifted his head up at the portal as he ran through his plan in his head.

“Certainly!” Gerald moved with pace over to the computer and began typing in several passwords. “Are you sure you want to leave in those? I wouldn’t say your suit is appropriate.”   
Donald adjusted his outfit and stepped towards the portal.

“I would have to disagree. This is my image. Besides, who can resist a smart looking man?” Trump flashed him a cheesy smile and Gerald looked away almost embarrassed.

“Of course,” Gerald finished and tapped a key on the keyboard. The portal whirled to life; shaking slightly. The area inside the portal shimmered and Trump brushed his hand over the top causing a rippling effect on the surface. Gerald nodded once to Trump. “Good luck Donald,”

“Yes.” Trump answered and he leapt through.


	2. A Fallen Trump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start to see the strump in this chapter!

Chapter 2 – A fallen Trump

Rey’s eyes could barely remain open due to the heavy downpour cascading around her. The skies were filled with ominous dark clouds and the occasional clap of thunder filled her ears. Her water sodden clothes clung to her body as she looked up. Kylo Ren, the monster, and several knights of Ren stood fearlessly in front of her seemingly oblivious to the weather conditions. A knight leapt out in front of her drawing his weapon but a loud crackling noise stopped him in his tracks. A fierce red blade passed through his body with ease and emerged the other side. Rey fell backwards and a moment of recognition flashed before her eyes. She had seen this before, in her force vision when she first touched Luke’s lightsaber.

The knight fell to the ground and the remaining knights were still. They showed no emotion towards the death of their comrade. 

“Forgive me,” Kylo Ren breathed and he began to walk forward.

At that very moment she felt a presence in the force. It was someone she did not recognise but they were approaching- fast. Feeling the presence even closer now, she glanced up. A rapidly moving shape was shielding her from the rain. It was coming down and as it came closer she could see more detail. It was a rather large man with orange skin and odd clothes. She gasped and realised Kylo noticed it to. He looked up as equally mesmerised as her, although their amazement would not last for long. 

The man was falling right above her. His blonde hair made him appear almost angelic and his clothes fluttered in the strong winds. Before she could duck away he landed directly on top of her and forced her into the ground. Rey squealed and the knights of Ren just stood there; too in shock to move. 

“It’s an ambush!” Kylo yelled and he held his lightsaber right towards the strange man. Marching over to him he yanked him off Rey swiftly but not with ease. The man was quite heavy. Kylo pointed his crackling lightsaber towards the man’s now mud stained blonde hair. Rey was lying unconscious on the ground.

“I’m going to have to ask you to calm down Sir for I am Donald Trump, leader of planet Earth.” Trump declared as he sat up. Kylo stepped back slightly but kept his lightsaber drawn.

“These parts are owned by the First Order. I came here to retrieve something of mine,” He glanced over to Rey who was still unmoving. He lowered his lightsaber and looked back over to Trump. “Actually, you’ve made my job a lot easier. Why are you here Donald?” 

Donald Trump stood up quickly and adjusted his suit. 

“I have come here because I believe I am force sensitive. I am not from this world. In fact I have come from a completely different universe entirely. In order to completely rule over my people I must learn how to properly use my skills,” Trump chanted as he had rehearsed in the mirror several times before. Kylo returned his lightsaber to his hilt and nodded his head slowly.

“You may call me Kylo Ren, I shall take you to the Supreme Leader. He will find you most… intriguing,” Kylo answered mechanically due to the helmet masking his voice. A broad grin crept up Donald’s face and he clasped his hands together.

“Good.” Trump replied. Kylo signalled for his knights to escort the man to his ship whilst he proceeded to Rey. She was still alive but would need medical attention. He hoisted her over his shoulder and returned to his knights who were filing onto the ship. Donald Trump attempted to make small talk with one of the knights but the knight just stared back blankly leaving Donald awkwardly awaiting a response. The ship thrummed to life and took off once Kylo had stepped on board with the girl. 

“We’re 2 hours away from the Supreme Leader so I suggest you get comfortable,” Kylo ordered Trump before disappearing to a separate room with Rey.

The first thing Donald noticed about the First Order base was that it was anything but homely. It had no staff flitting around, no respectful nods of appreciation as he entered a room and no pictures of himself on the walls. Trump felt out of place and began to miss the comfort of Trump Tower. 

He was alone with Kylo now as they walked down a long dark corridor. The base was on a cold planet and was a maze of tunnels and rooms hidden underground where The Resistance couldn’t find them. Kylo halted outside a large ancient looking door. He raised his hand and moved it in a flowing motion to the right. The door opened obediently and Trump smiled to himself. ‘The ladies would love that trick’ he smirked. Inside the room widened out into a large dome and in the centre a large chair stood proudly. He would need something like that for his office back home. Kylo walked forwards and got down in one knee in front of the chair. Donald, much to his displeasure, copied.

A blue light flickered for a second before a figure appeared in the chair. Trump gasped at the sight of it. Never before had he seen someone of such grace, such magnificence (other than himself). He found himself lost for words as the figure stared back at him.

Meanwhile the figure felt a small ping inside his chest. It felt almost like a flutter or a vibration. It was something that had not been felt in a very long time. He lowered his gaze down to the strange looking man. His eyes widened as he saw his face. It was the perfect shade of orange. It reminded him of the sunsets he used to watch with his mother when he was a small child. His hair was a soft cloud of yellow. He felt the urge to run his fingers through it. 

“Supreme Leader, I believe this person may be of value to you. He is the leader of a planet named Earth. He believes he is force sensitive and wants to refine his power.” Kylo recited what he had heard from the man. He was oblivious to the connection the two appeared to be sharing.

Snoke snapped back into reality and he focused on the stranger hungrily.

“What is your name, leader of the planet Earth?” Snoke’s voice cracked slightly as he spoke. He took a deep breath shortly after. He needed to get it under control. Donald rose to his feet just as Kylo did and took a deep breath also.

“My name is Donald Trump.” Trump called out the figure. Snoke leant back into his chair. His thoughts were racing and he struggled to keep composure around this man.  
“Donald Trump…” He liked the way the words rolled off his tongue so he repeated it to himself silently. 

“Would you like me to test if he is indeed force sensitive master?” Kylo queried noticing the Supreme leader was distracted.

“Silence boy!” He spat back at him. “I will train him. He shall become my student just as Rey is yours. I trust you managed to retrieve her in one piece?” Snoke finished with his eyes bearing down hard upon Kylo.

Kylo felt himself go hot under the collar as he replied.

“Actually, about that, Supreme Leader… I believe during Donald’s descent from the skies he crushed Rey. With medical attention she should make a full recovery.” Kylo explained. Snoke laughed to himself quietly and gestured for Kylo to leave.

“I shall visit the base tomorrow to begin training my new pupil,” Snoke declared and with that he vanished with a flicker of blue. Kylo turned to leave and Trump sighed before following.


	3. Training Trump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strump gets juicy

Chapter 3 – Training Trump

Trump’s room was fairly small yet still comfortable. Although very different to his lavish room at home he still felt partially attached to it. It featured a single bed in the corner and the walls were dotted with various shapes of cupboards. After exploring his new room he discovered that some training clothes in his size had been placed neatly into one of the cupboards. Shoes lined the cupboard below. 

As it was morning Donald changed out of his now foul smelling suit and put on his new training clothes. They were black, in accordance to the general theme of the base. The sleeves were long but loose and the trousers just touched his ankles. He combed through his sandy hair with his fingers and checked himself in the mirror. 

“If only the people of America could see me now,” He muttered to himself feeling pride glow in his belly. “I should start selling action figures, Darth Trump… I like it,” He began making poses in the mirror and laughed like a child when he thought he looked good.

At that moment a sharp knock came from the door and a voice sounded from outside.

“Donald Trump? The Supreme Leader wishes to see you now,” 

Donald felt nerves grow inside him and he paced towards the voice. He opened the door and noted the Stormtrooper standing outside. To his right the figure he had met last night stood tall. His long black robe covered his face and reached down to the floor. He must have been at least twenty centimetres taller than Trump.

“Donald Trump,” The Supreme Leader spoke softly. He turned his head towards the Stormtrooper and scowled. “You may leave us now,” The Stormtrooper understood and proceeded away from them quickly. Snoke raised his hands to his hood and pushed it down, away from his face. His grey skin glistened under the lighting and Donald felt himself go queasy at the sight of it. “My title is The Supreme Leader but please, call me Snoke.” His mouth was tight and slanted slightly as the words fell out. Donald nodded in return.

“Call me Trump,” Donald flashed him a cheesy presidential smile and adjusted his training clothes. Somehow Snoke’s face morphed itself into a smile. Judging by the awkwardness of it, he obviously showed this very little. Snoke began to walk down the corridor and he gestured Donald to follow. 

“Tell me about Earth Trump. I have not heard of this place. What’s it like?” Snoke’s feeble attempt at small talk was made obvious as they turned a corner. Trump lifted his head slightly and thought back to Trump Tower.

“It’s a marvellous place. Full of people. I have my own tower, right in the centre of the city. I can watch over my people from the highest floor and staff bring food and nice biscuits up if I ask.” Donald explained as the faint taste of custard creams lingered in his mouth. Snoke glanced over to Trump. He wasn’t sure if it was the heat from the lights reflecting off his orange skin but he had to look away as he felt himself go hot. 

“Tell me more about this tower,” Snoke begged for Trump to continue.

“It’s called Trump tower. Two hundred and two meters tall in Fifth Avenue. I have an office right at the top and secret labs underneath it. We managed to open a portal there which allows us to travel here.” Donald continued and he glanced over to Snoke as they turned another corner.

“I should like to visit this tower someday,” Snoke breathed as his eyes passed down. He thought for a moment before speaking again. “In fact you could show me it right now.” Snoke stopped and Trump copied. He moved his body towards Donald causing him to step back nervously. “Don’t be afraid Trump. Just think about your tower.” Snoke lifted his disfigured hand and brushed his fingertips over Trump’s face. He closed his eyes and Donald felt his breath hot on his cheeks. Snoke smiled again as Trump thought back to Trump tower. He pictured the labs and the elevators and his office. He thought particularly hard about his favourite window. Snoke’s hand pulled away and landed back at his side as he moved back away from Donald. “We should continue. I would like to start working with the force today,” Snoke nodded and Donald swallowed before following Snoke towards the training room. 

When they arrived Snoke inputted a code onto a keypad which allowed the steel door to slide open. Inside the room there were several pieces of gym equipment and mats laid out on the floor. The white lighting bared harshly down onto the dark grey walls making the room look larger than it was. 

Snoke moved towards the edge of the room and threw his robe down dramatically. Trump felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw what he was wearing underneath. A dark green spandex jumpsuit gripped his body tightly and he pulled a sweatband from behind him. He snapped the sweatband onto his head and placed his hands on his hips. Trump thought he looked like an aerobics instructor from the eighties - a sexy aerobics instructor. 

“I would like to start working with the force straight away so let’s see what you can do,” Snoke beckoned Donald to stand closer and he placed a pen on the floor. The Supreme Leader then kneeled on the floor and Trump copied. “Try and lift this pen.” He smirked. Donald Trump looked at it once before picking it up with his fingers and lifting it slightly. Snoke scowled and his eyes narrowed. “With the force you dimwit,” He spat at him. 

“Oh sorry,” Trump apologised before putting the pen back on the floor and focusing sharply with his mind. He inhaled and tried to imagine the pen rising of the floor. After a few seconds the pen did rise a few centimetres in the air. 

“Good,” Snoke hissed and he watched the pen fall to the ground again. 

“This is all very well Snoke but I would like to actually use the force to get people to vote for me. You know, write the x on the card next to my name,” Donald complained and Snoke’s mouth curled into a thin line.

“Patience my friend,” He spoke before standing up and moving towards the side. He ripped a propaganda poster off the wall and paced back to Trump. He kneeled back down and passed the paper to him. “Draw your planet’s voting card on the back of this.” Snoke ordered and Trump grabbed the pen and paper and began drawing on a grid. He wrote his name in the first square followed by his rivals in the next few squares. After each name (apart from his) he drew a poo face emoji or an angry face. “What is this?” Snoke demanded when he noticed Trump giggling.

“It’s the voting card, like you asked.” He replied and placed the completed card on the floor. 

“Good. Now use the force to draw the x next to your name,” Snoke added before leaning back to watch his student work. Trump closed his eyes and exhaled before using his hand to direct the pen. He then opened his eyes slightly and gestured for the pen to draw a cross next to his name. He smiled to himself proudly after completing it. 

“How was that?” Donald asked in arrogant tone. Snoke breathed and met his eyes.

“Perfect. But that still doesn’t solve your problem. It would take some time to force everyone to write that x.” Snoke noted and Donald frowned before remembering his original plan.

“That is why you must teach me mind tricks. I can then force the whole population to vote for me,” Trump stated with a grin plastered on his face. Snoke chuckled and nodded.

“A wonderful idea Trump! But first we must improve these force skills of yours.” Snoke declared and returned Trump’s smile.


	4. Chapter 4 - Taking Trump Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lead up to their first date ^-^
> 
> Drunk Kylo and Rey FTW
> 
> Long live the Strump!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to get into a schedule where I update this every two days. Enjoy the chapter :3
> 
> I have a tumblr which I post updates and fan art on: http://erinzozo.tumblr.com/

Chapter 4 – Taking Trump Out

After two weeks of constant practise, Trump’s skills were growing like a newly planted seedling. He was now able to simultaneously move several pens to vote for himself on separate voting cards. Snoke rewarded him each time with praise and barely ever criticised his technique. On the Monday of the third week, Snoke decided it was time to teach Donald the next level of the force. He awoke him, as usual, with a sharp tap on the door.

Trump opened swiftly and greeted Snoke with his best presidential smile. Their friendship was growing along with his powers.

“Morning Trump,” Snoke began as they proceeded to their training room. “How did you sleep?” he asked in a friendly tone.

“Oh very well Snoke, yourself?” Trump answered feeling ready for the day. Snoke tilted his grey aged head in response.

“As well as I usually do.” He finished, going into little detail. “Listen Trump,” Trump’s eyes flicked over to him curiously. “I think it’s time we focus on those mind tricks of yours and start learning combat. You’ll be able to construct your own lightsaber. I’m sure that’ll come in useful in your next political debate,” Snoke explained as they turned another corner. Trump’s face lit up with anticipation. Ideas of combat against his rivals floated around his head and he nodded in response to Snoke.

“Sounds perfect Snoke. I can’t wait,” He clapped his hands together in excitement and they reached the door to their training room. Snoke punched in the code and the door slid open. They shared a moment of part confusion, part shock as they witnessed the events inside. Rey was leaning against the wall and Kylo was pressed down on her. Their lips were clasped together as they engaged in a most passionate kiss. Kylo was the first to notice their audience and he jumped away from Rey and tidied his uniform.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo dipped his unmasked head nervously and Rey stepped away from the wall. Her eyes were locked onto the floor and her cheeks showed her obvious embarrassment.

“What the force is going on in here boy? That’s the third time this week!” Snoke called out to him with anger intertwined in his words. Kylo flinched at the sound of his voice and struggled to keep eye contact. 

“Sorry Supreme Leader. We were sparring and things got… out of hand,” Kylo braced himself for another flurry of reprimands.

“Get out of my training room and take your ‘sparring’ somewhere else,” Snoke looked at him in disapproval while Kylo quickly marched out of the room. Rey followed like a puppy, chasing after its master. When they were outside Snoke closed the door behind them and began preparing for their training session. “Honestly, you take your eyes off them for a minute and they’re… reproducing!” Snoke flung his hands up shook his head towards the door.

“Was it really the third time this week?” Donald asked still in shock of the unexpected activity. Snoke’s features morphed into a twisted smile. 

“No I lied,” Snoke chuckled quietly. “But the girl doesn’t know that,”

Trump laughed under his breath and looked at Snoke in admiration.

“I like your thinking Snoke,” He nodded in agreement. Snoke blushed slightly before turning his body back towards the door to hide his face. He reached for the keypad and opened the door again. Snoke leant out and called for a nearby Stormtrooper to come inside. Obediently, the Stormtrooper marched in and stood ready to receive more orders. Snoke closed the door again while Donald tried to piece together what Snoke was up to. Was it something he said?

“Trump,” He paused and thought for a second. “I want you to convince this Stormtrooper to vote for you,” Snoke ordered and stepped back a few paces to observe the full scene. Trump eyed the Stormtrooper suspiciously before raising his arm slightly.

“Stormtrooper!” He shouted suddenly causing the soldier to jump slightly and divert his full attention to him. Donald squinted his eyes and pursed his lips in concentration before speaking again. “You will vote for Donald Trump in the next election,” He spoke in a soft voice and his hand floated around his body lazily. 

“I will vote for Donald Trump in the next election,” The Stormtrooper stated in a monotone voice. Snoke laughed, pleased with his student. He paced back over to Donald and barked at the Stormtrooper to leave them. Once the Stormtrooper had fully made his exit he placed his hand on Trump’s shoulder.

“I knew you could do it Trump,” He sighed. He pulled his hand away quickly from his shoulder as he realised how it must have looked. Donald gave him a look of reassurance confirming that he didn’t mind. “Hey I was wondering if, uh… You would like to maybe visit this karaoke place with me tonight?” The words fell out of Snoke’s mouth with little warning and Donald looked slightly taken a back. 

“Oh,” Donald considered his options for a few moments. Was the Supreme Leader asking him out on a date? He decided that it would be rude if he refused so he answered: “Of course. Karaoke is always great fun!”

Snoke’s grey face seemed to light up as though it had been touched by fire.

“Great! I’ll pick you up after dinner. Is seven alright?” He spoke quickly. Trump nodded his head in response and they returned to practising with the force as though nothing had happened.

 

Later that night Trump rushed about like a madman in his room. He frantically searched through the cupboards until he found the suit that he had worn on his very first night. Thankfully it had been cleaned and the mud stains had completely disappeared. He showered once before slipping into his suit and checking himself in the mirror.

“This is important so don’t mess it up,” He instructed his reflection and adjusted his suit. Snoke would be here any minute. He flashed his best smile in the mirror and double checked for any food in his teeth. This night had to be perfect.

His nerves heightened as he heard a familiar knock on the door. It was his date. Approaching the door cautiously he whipped his head round to make sure he hadn’t left any dirty underwear on the floor. After he was sure he looked alright, he opened the door. 

Words could not describe the figure in front of him. A stunning red dress hung loosely off of Snoke’s rigid shoulders. The belt around his centre gave him a perfect waist line and hips that called out to Trump. He struggled to hold back a gasp as he smiled at Snoke. He was wearing his usual black robe over the top which drew some attention away from the low neckline.

“Snoke,” Trump tried to say but it came out as more of a whisper. “You look great,” He scolded himself inside as ‘great’ was a major understatement. 

“Thank you, as do you Trump,” Snoke dipped his head slightly and moved to the side to allow Trump to walk beside him. He led the way down the dark corridor and continued past several rooms. Trump felt like he ought to say something but before he could the couple were intercepted by a staggering Kylo and Rey. Kylo Ren had his arm over Rey’s shoulder and was struggling to walk; as was she. Trump could tell that they were both very drunk. 

When Kylo noticed that their path was blocked he stifled a gasp and Rey seemed to stifle a giggle. 

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo speech was slurred as he gave Snoke an exaggerated bow. Rey’s face went red as she struggled to hold back laughter and helped him return to his usual height. “Might I say you look stunning tonight,” Kylo breathed out and Rey’s laughter emerged from her mouth loudly. Donald suddenly felt very defensive. They were clearly poking fun at Snoke’s outfit. Before he could reprimand them Snoke unleashed his wrath.

“Leave now Kylo Ren and take that pathetic desert rat with you!” His shouts reached a new volume, which seemed to sober up Kylo and Rey. They hobbled away quickly but their laughter could be heard again once they turned a corner. Trump looked up at Snoke in sympathy.

“Ignore them Snoke you look gorgeous,” Donald’s statement appeared to calm Snoke down slightly but they didn’t speak again until they reached the karaoke bar.


	5. Chapter 5 - Trump's Time to Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trump and Snoke's first date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading 
> 
> Long live the Strump <3

Chapter 5 – Trump’s Time to Shine

The karaoke bar was in the centre of a clustered city. What appeared to be neon lighting lined the letters of the signs and the darkness of the sky only seemed to make the city look more alive. Donald noticed that even when Snoke was wearing his cape, people seemed to stay out of his way. The way his cloak, paired with the dress, billowed behind him made him appear ominous while his hidden face added to his mysterious demeanour. 

The other beings around them were like ants scurrying in and out of various clubs and bars. It was loud but not loud enough to mask the music coming from the karaoke bar. Out of tune singing could be heard also. 

Snoke lead Trump up a short flight of stairs to the entrance and walked in. 

Inside the bar was filled with many humans and aliens. A medium sized stage featured near the back of the bar while pink and blue mood lighting lit up the inside of the room. The cheerful buzz of the bar seemed to die down slightly as people noticed The Supreme Leader had joined them. People tossed awkward glances to each other, unsure of how they should react. As if nothing had happened Snoke went straight over to the requests booth. Trump followed closely.

Snoke received the clerk’s attention quickly and he moved over to them nervously. 

“I called earlier and made a few requests for Earth songs,” Snoke explained. He seemed to be completely out of character – almost friendly. The clerk nodded, realising at once who had called, and replied with a slight stutter.

“Oh yes. You’re first s-song is on in a few minutes,” He answered and gestured over to a spare table. “P-please take a seat while you wait,” The man had a fake smile plastered on his face and his hand was clearly shaking. Snoke glanced at to the table and made his way over.

Sitting down, Snoke watched Trump carefully as he sat on the seat opposite. They were quite close to the stage but far enough so that the current singer didn’t disturb their conversation.

“What do you think of the place?” Snoke flashed Trump a smile and looked desperate for a positive reply.

“It’s great,” Trump responded. He fumbled his hands awkwardly. “What song are you doing?” He asked in an attempt to calm his unusual jitters. Snoke’s eyes passed down and he blushed slightly.

“Actually,” He looked into Donald’s eyes. “I’m a bit nervous about going on stage,” 

Trump looked taken aback. How could someone so extraordinary be capable of having such ordinary fears? Snoke swallowed before continuing.

“I requested we do a duet. It’s a popular Earth song called ‘American Boy’ by an ‘Estelle’ and a ‘Kanye West’. Have you heard of it? I thought it suited our circumstances quite well,” Snoke trailed off and looked at Trump in an almost attempt at desperation.

“That’s fine and yes. I have heard of it,” Trump replied. In truth he’d never done karaoke before. Let alone tried to sing at all. He hoped he could do it well enough to impress his teacher. Trump adjusted his suit and scanned his eyes over to the stage. The song looked just about finished. Snoke brushed his hands on his dress before standing up and beckoning Donald to follow.

“Next up we have a duet!” The announcer called. “Singing ‘American Boy’ please introduce to the stage: Supreme Leader Snoke,” The audience fell silent and a few careful whispers could be heard. “And Donald Trump,” The announcer finished.

Snoke stepped up onto the stage and Trump followed. He was slightly nervous but the many speeches he’d performed softened the nerves. Grey, sweaty hands grasped the first microphone and orange hands grabbed the second. The music began to play and Trump looked over at Snoke before beginning to rap.

“Just another one champion sound  
Me and Estelle about to get down  
Who the hottest in the world right now  
Just touched down in London town  
Bet they give me a pound  
Tell them put the money in my hand right now  
Tell the promoter we need more seats,  
We just sold out all the floor seats”

Trump managed to release the flow of words without stumbling and Snoke watched him in admiration. He’d even managed to sway to the music and Trump bopped every few words. The audience was still too stunned at the fact that their Supreme Leader was about to sing at an average karaoke bar. Snoke blinked a few times and grasped the mic tighter before opening his mouth.

“Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day  
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA  
I really want to come kick it with you  
You'll be my American boy”

Although Snoke’s voice was no match for the original singer’s, Trump actually found himself enjoying his unique scratchy voice. Donald Trump decided it was time to get down and started to wave his arms and get the feel of the music. Snoke giggled before continuing.

“He said 'Hey Sister'  
It's really really nice to meet ya  
I just met this five foot seven guy who's just my type  
I like the way he's speaking his confidence is peaking  
Don't like his baggy jeans but I'ma like what's underneath it  
And no I ain't been to MIA  
I heard that Cali never rains and New York heart awaits  
First let's see the west end  
I'll show you to my brethren.  
I'm like this American boy, American boy”

The rest of the night went on similarly with Trump getting way too into the music and Snoke laughing like a school girl when Donald went a little too far. By the time the couple had shared several songs and the audience had cheered (every time), the two were sat back down still getting over the hysteria of their most recent performance. 

“You were brilliant Trump,” Snoke complimented. Trump gave him another one of his presidential smiles. 

“Not as brilliant as you. You never told me you could sing,” Trump returned the compliment and Snoke blushed again. 

“You never asked,” He replied before dipping his head slightly. “It’s getting late now. We should head back to the base before they send a search patrol,” Snoke finished sipping on his drink they had purchased a little earlier. Trump agreed and they both proceeded to exit the bar. 

 

Snoke was stood waiting outside Trump’s room door as Trump stepped in. Donald felt like he ought to say something to thank Snoke for the evening but he found himself doing something very different.

“You should come in,” Donald suggested. Snoke’s eyes widened and checked around for any onlookers.

“Are you sure Trump? If I do I may find myself doing something I might regret,” Snoke spoke in a serious tone.

“I’m sure,” Donald’s voice cracked and he grabbed a hold of Snoke’s wrinkled hand. “Come in,” He bit his bottom lip and ruffled his yellow hair. “I have a lot to show you,”


	6. Chapter 6 - Take My Advice Trump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trump and Snoke get found out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your wonderful comments. I love reading everyone's reactions to this fic :D
> 
> Long live the Strump

Chapter 6 – Take My Advice Trump

The morning after, the base was on high alert. Stormtroopers scoured the base hunting high and low for their Supreme Leader who was nowhere to be found. As soon as Kylo Ren was notified he knew exactly where to look. Still feeling a small part lightheaded, he charged towards Trump’s room accompanied by Rey. He used the force to slide the door open and barged in.

The lights were still dim in the room. The bed was barely visible in the low lighting so Kylo had to fumble around in the dark for the light switch. He smirked to himself once he found it and flicked it on. 

Rey’s gasp was the first thing he noted. He whipped round to face her before looking over at what had caused her this reaction. Donald Trump was lying, shirtless, across his bed like a starfish. Snoke had snuggled up to his side and rested his head on his shoulder. Both of them appeared to be completely naked and both Kylo and Rey would’ve likely been permanently scarred if it weren’t for the white sheet covering the lower half of their bodies.

Kylo was stunned. He had no idea how to react or what to do. He glanced over at Rey who was still wide eyed and just as in shock as him. Deciding that this was all too much, Kylo cleared his throat in order to wake the couple. After no response he went over to Trump and pushed him violently. Snoke snuggled further into him until fluttering his eyes open and letting out a small cry as he noticed his audience. 

“Kylo!” Snoke yelped. Trump stirred in his sleep. “Rey!” Snoke cried again and he pushed the blanket up to his chest in modesty. Trump groaned and awoke also. His face flushed a deep shade of red when he too realised the awkward situation.

“Supreme Leader, what’s going on? The whole base has been on red alert since this morning. You never reported back to your rooms last night. We assumed the worst,” Kylo spoke with anger in his tone as he let his piercing gaze fall on Trump. Snoke pursed his lips and looked down in embarrassment. He swallowed before meeting Kylo’s eyes.

“That’s none of your concern boy,” He spat and moved away from Trump slightly. Kylo paced back towards the door and Rey backed away.

“I’ll notify the officers that you have been found,” Kylo dipped his head. “Supreme Leader we need to talk,” Kylo scowled at Trump whose eyes had been fixed away from him. “Alone,” 

Kylo paraded out and Rey chased after him quickly. Once the door had slid shut Snoke looked over at Trump.

“What have I done?” He muttered and Trump looked away again. His face was slowly straying away from the ghastly red it had just been.

“We had a few drinks… Everyone makes mistakes,” Trump tried to piece together what had just happened between them.

“You think this was a mistake?” There was a quiver in Snoke’s voice. He didn’t seem so powerful now. Donald shook his head quickly and placed his hand on Snoke’s.

“No, I,” He pulled his hand away and faced the door. “I need time to think,” He finished. Snoke sighed and stepped out of the bed. The floor was cold and harsh against his feet but he ignored it as he pulled on his robe. He was going to say something in return to Trump but he decided it would be better if he just left.

***

On the way back to his rooms Kylo caught his arm. Snoke stopped to pull away but Kylo held on firmly.

“We need to talk about you and Trump,” Kylo spoke in a serious voice. Snoke’s eyes met his and he pushed away the growing tears. He needed to show him that he was not weak.

“There’s nothing going on between us,” Snoke replied coldly.

“That’s an obvious lie Supreme Leader. What would the base think if they saw what went down in Trump’s room last night?” Kylo folded his arms. Snoke’s face morphed into one of shock and he grasped onto Kylo shoulders and stared directly into his soul.

“You wouldn’t dare say anything,” He hissed at him and Kylo almost fell backwards.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Kylo answered while steadying himself. “It needs to stop though. He’s making you weak. You were in a red dress last night!” He protested and Snoke thought back to last night’s events.

“You’re right… I’m going to end it right now,” Snoke decided and Kylo followed him back towards Trump’s room.

***

Meanwhile across the base, a fully dressed Trump stepped outside his rooms. He craned his neck and noticed Rey leaning against a wall. She noticed him too and stood up straight. Trump went straight over to her and stood there awkwardly.

“You’re Rey aren’t you?” Donald spoke whilst adjusting his uniform. He thought about flashing her a cheesy presidential smile as it always seemed to work with the ladies but decided against it.

“That’s me,” She answered casually. Had she completely forgotten their first meeting? Although it was supposed to be comforting, her friendliness only seemed to make him more nervous. 

“I need some advice about… men,” He finished abruptly and awaited a reaction. She huffed a small smile.

“I’m not sure if I’m the best person to ask but I suppose I could give you some advice,” She chuckled. Trump let out a sigh and glanced over to his room.

“Could we talk inside?” He asked innocently. Rey nodded and smiled again. They began to walk towards the door.

***

Snoke was walking with phenomenal speed. Kylo struggled to keep up as he turned another corner in the maze of dark steel walls. He stopped before reaching the hallway that lead to Trump’s room. He heard giggling coming from two voices. Snoke stuck his hand out to halt Kylo and peeked round the corner. Rey and Trump were both proceeding towards Trump’s room. He felt Kylo peek his head round also and he watched as Trump held the door open for Rey and they both went inside. Snoke stood back and faced Kylo with wide eyes.

“He moves on fast,” Snoke wheezed out and he felt tears burn in his eyes. Kylo looked equally as shocked.

“I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding. Rey and I are together. She wouldn’t cheat with that,” Kylo folded his arms and shook his head towards the floor.

“Don’t insult Trump,” Snoke hissed back at him. “She’s gone off and left you. They’re probably doing regrettable things right now,” He turned his head away and stared at the door. Kylo stamped his foot like a child, diverting Snoke’s attention back to him.

“Don’t say that. Rey would never. Don’t try and ruin my relationship because yours is over,” The words were heated as they sparred. The atmosphere tensed up around them.

“Go and check on them then,” The argument continued and Snoke’s voice reached a new pitch. Kylo looked towards the door, back at Snoke then back at the door again before storming off in the opposite direction. “Coward,” Snoke muttered but he too turned away from Trump’s room and began travelling back to his.


	7. Chapter 7 - Trump's Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo hates Trump
> 
> I put a bunch of references in so see if you can spot them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super bored today and made this little intro for Trump Wars: http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.starwars.com%2Fgames-apps%2Fstar-wars-crawl-creator%2F%3Fcid%3D56e59735e4b0a0a333cbf069&t=MjdlNTQwMDNlM2UxMjQwNDcyZTUzNTQxNzZjMzUzYTI1MjNkOWI4MSx0c25qWTJEdg%3D%3D
> 
> Click begin to play it :3

Chapter 7 – Trump’s Double Trouble

Rey perched on Trump’s bed precariously while Trump slid the door shut. Rey noticed how his orange skin seemed to reflect of the lighting in the room and make him glow slightly.

Trump pulled a nearby chair closer to Rey and he sighed deeply.

“I think I’ve ruined my relationship with Snoke. It’s not often I make mistakes, y’know, but this time I’ve definitely gone and done it,” Donald rambled and Rey watched him, taking in all of his words. She glanced down at the ground and wondered how she could possibly help. 

“Have you told him you love him? That’s a good trick,” Rey spoke out to him. Trump averted his beady eyes and felt his yellow hair flop onto his face.

“No, not yet anyway,” He replied in his thick accent. It was almost the complete opposite to Rey’s. She smiled in attempt to comfort him. 

“Make sure he knows it then. Give him what he wants but don’t give it to him too easily. Knowing Snoke, he probably likes a challenge,” Her voice rang like distant bells cutting through the awkward atmosphere. Her light radiated off of her and Trump felt at peace.

“I could but I think he hates me,” He protested back at Rey. She shuffled and appeared to ponder for a second before speaking again.

“Find him now. We can go together. Oh!” She stopped for a moment and her smile grew wider. Excitement was buzzing around her. “We can organise a double date. You and Snoke and Kylo and I. It’ll be perfect! Kylo even said the other day he wanted to take me out,”

Trump’s eyes lit up at the thought and pictured them all dressed to impress sat at a table chatting like real folks. He stood up quickly and tossed Rey the presidential smile he had saved from earlier.

“Let’s do this,” He chanted while Rey rose from the bed.

“Let’s do this,” She answered back and Trump lifted his hand to high five. Rey looked at him in utter confusion and he pulled his hand away. Things were different here.

***

They met up in a small cafeteria area near the centre of the base. Rey had persuaded Kylo to tell Snoke it was an important meeting about their latest attack. He agreed, after some encouragement, and they were all waiting for their leader in the steel grey room. Snoke arrived promptly and froze in the doorway when he noticed that Trump was there instead of the generals he was expecting.

“Trump,” Snoke appeared almost nervous but he straightened himself up after sensing Kylo and Rey. “This isn’t a military meeting is it?” He pursed his lips and looked down, ashamed. Kylo stepped forward away from one of the walls. 

“We decided we all needed to have a little chat,” The dark robed man said. Rey glanced at Trump apprehensively noticing he was fidgeting with his suit. Snoke nodded and came fully into the room, shutting the door behind him. The cafeteria area was completely empty apart from them, and a few tables lined the inside. “Rey and Trump thought the best way forward was to…” Kylo’s speech was cut off by the sound of a wail. Snoke had grasped the wall with one hand and was beating it with the other. A scream broke through from his mouth and echoed of the room’s walls. Rey clasped her hands over her ears and watched in horror.

“It’s true then?” Snoke’s rage morphed into words. “Trump and Rey are together?” 

“No, no. Supreme Leader, Trump loves you!” Rey called out and Snoke’s anger halted. He slowly turned around to look at Trump.

“What?” His voice came out raspy and far too quiet. 

“Trump loves you and he wants to go on a date, a double date. You two and Kylo and I,” Rey explained with her voice dropping in volume. Kylo looked at her in confusion. He had no knowledge of a double date; only that there were things between Trump and Snoke that needed to be patched up. Snoke’s head whipped round to face Kylo and he jabbed a finger at him.

“You said that Trump and I needed to end,” He spoke fiercely. Kylo felt himself go hot under his helmet. He didn’t appreciate Snoke shifting the blame for this on him.

“It’s true that I thought you relationship could cause problems…” While he spoke Rey folded her arms and pouted slightly. “But I think it’s better for all of us if you and Trump mended your feelings for each other and got back together,” He felt slightly embarrassed but the atmosphere shifted once Rey was smiling again. 

“So it’s settled. We can all enjoy this double date tonight,” She finished and glanced over at Kylo. “Where are we going?” She asked. Her positive attitude helped little with the pressure he had just been put under.

“Uh,” He stuttered – everyone in the room was looking at him, waiting for the answer. “There’s a restaurant in the city I think would be suitable,” 

Snoke moved away from the wall which now featured several cracks and crevasses. 

“We can leave at 6,” He spoke in a calmer manner and his gaze drifted to Trump. “I’ll collect you from your room then,” He finished before sweeping his cloak away as he left the room.

***

Night time fell and while the base was silent, the darkness seemed to turn on the city. Lights flooded the skies and buildings created the maze that was the town. As this was his second visit to the area, Trump felt less nervous however, the signs and amount of people still filled him with wonder. It was nothing like New York. 

The group slowed as they reached their destination. Kylo went in first, followed by Rey, then Snoke and finally Trump. Kylo, who now had no mask, wore his usual get up while Rey wore a simple yet eye catching black dress. As normal, Donald wore his only suit but the attention was all focused on Snoke. He wore a dress that wasn’t as stunning as last time but still showed off his stick like figure. It was a dark navy blue and his black cloak added to the look. 

Inside the restaurant there were many people bustling around. Cutlery chinking and people chattering could be heard as Snoke shut the door behind him. A nearby waiter jumped slightly when he saw the group. It could be read from his face that he recognised the Supreme Leader instantly. His hands were shaking as he directed them to a table secluded from the crowd. It was next to a window which overlooked the city. The group sat down and the waiter handed them some menus. He went through how the restaurant worked as quickly as he could before leaving them to converse.

Kylo, who was sat next to Rey, eyed Trump suspiciously. Donald had already opened his menu and was scouring through the diverse food options. 

“I’ve never been to a restaurant before,” Rey broke the silence with her cheerful voice. “It’s quite different from what I expected. Are they all like this?” She continued before opening the menu as Trump had done. 

“Most of them,” Kylo replied. His eyes were still fixed on Trump. His obnoxious flicking of the pages was already starting to get on his nerves. Before he could complain, the waiter from before came over and stood by the table.

“Can I get you any drinks?” He asked with a shaking voice. He had obviously heard of The Supreme Leader’s wrath and the fact he was wearing a party dress didn’t seem to affect his fear. Trump was the first to speak up to the waiter.

“I’ll get a glass of your best beer,” Trump declared grinning up to the waiter.

“Of course sir,” He scribbled down his order on his notepad. He then looked over to The Supreme Leader who ordered the same thing followed by Kylo. Rey ordered a simple glass of water and the waiter shuffled away to the kitchens. 

“Are restaurants much different in your world Trump?” Snoke questioned whilst twisting in his seat. He could feel how Kylo felt about being in the presence of Donald. Trump shook his head still peering through the menu. 

“What food would you recommend?” Trump asked Snoke. 

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t come here often,” He finished. Rey sighed and put her head on her hand. This was going worse than she had expected. “I’m just popping out to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” Snoke spoke and he lifted of his chair and moved away from the table. Kylo’s intimidating gaze hadn’t left Trump and Rey had to jab him in his side for him to finally stop staring. 

Trump looked over to his side and noticed a couple sharing a plate of what appeared to be chips. He used the force the call one over and it landed in front of him. The couple however, didn’t seem to notice. Donald chewed on the chip and Kylo glared at him. At that moment Trump felt his throat tighten. He flailed his arms and attempted to cough but nothing came out.

“Trump!” Rey called and she stood up. 

“Oh no he’s choking on food,” Kylo spoke in a sarcastic tone. Rey knew instantly he was the culprit and hit him on his shoulder. Trump’s shoulders fell and he panted. His breath had been restored. Rey grabbed Kylo and pulled him away from the table.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She snarled. Kylo shrugged as though nothing had happened.

“The man’s obnoxious and uncivilised, he deserved it,” His response didn’t seem to please Rey and he pulled him down so he was eye level with her.

“Snoke will kill you if he finds out. I suggest you go and apologise for both our sakes,” Her voice hadn’t been this vicious before. He understood and returned to his usual height.

“I suppose you’re right,” He finished. He averted his eyes down to the ground. “Let’s try and make this date work out for them,”


	8. Chapter 8 - Trump Toys with the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more Strump!

Chapter 8 – Trump Toys with the Enemy

When Snoke returned from the bathroom, the trio were seated neatly around the table. They even appeared to be making pleasant conversation. He had to barge past several waiters and waitresses to reach his seat.

Once he had sat down, the waiter from earlier came over carrying a tray of drinks. He seemed to have gotten used to the fact that his Supreme Leader had decided to grace him with his presence as his hands were barely even shaking now. 

“What can I get you to eat?” He asked, flipping open his notepad. Kylo glanced round the table before speaking.

“I think we’ll just order the sharing platter,”

The waiter nodded and noted it down.

“Anything else?” He asked a final time. Kylo’s eyes went over to Snoke, asking him subliminally if he wanted anything else. Snoke received the message.

“No, that’ll be all,” Snoke declared and the waiter hurried back to the kitchen. Snoke placed his withered hands on the table and sighed.

“I’m assuming you know which food is best here, boy?” He questioned. Kylo dipped his head respectfully.

“We spoke while you were gone and decided, seeming that Trump hadn’t experienced much of our food, that we best order a sharing platter for him to try some of our different dishes,” He explained. Snoke smiled to himself and moved his hands down under the table. He fumbled around for Trump’s hand and latched onto it. Trump’s hand felt warm, soft and made Snoke feel young again. He very much enjoyed that feeling.

“I hope you will enjoy the food here, Trump,” His head turned to face his partner’s and he had to stifle a small laugh when he saw his face. Among the orange lines that ran across his face, a piece of potato had wedged itself against the corner of his mouth. Trump sensed his laughter and looked at him, puzzled. “You have something on your cheek,” His voice came out as though he was addressing a child and Trump’s face, like a sunrise, faded from orange to red. “I’ll get it,” Snoke whispered and he leant down so their cheeks were touching. He ran Donald’s lips against his and guided his tongue down to the potato. With a swift motion, the potato had landed in Snoke’s mouth and he swallowed.

A sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted their romantic moment and Snoke pulled away quickly. He had almost forgotten they were in public. 

“Food’s here,” Kylo announced.

Snoke composed himself and watched as the waiter laid down a tray of various dishes. There were several bowls of different meats and coloured soups. There was also a plate of different breads. The waiter passed down a plate to each person and double checked everything was okay before leaving.

As if nothing had happened, Trump grasped large handfuls of different foods. Rey watched; mouth agape. She could not understand how one person could eat so much food. Both her and Kylo took some bread politely and Snoke began nibbling on a piece of meat.

“This is wonderful,” Trump spoke whilst gobbling down his food. Bits of meat were crumbling down his chin as though they were water splashing down the sides of a waterfall. Rey noticed how even while eating, Snoke seemed to eye Trump with more hunger than his food. She didn’t know if she should be grossed out by their public display of affection or envious so she focused on Kylo.

At that very moment, glass from a nearby window exploded from the walls. People stopped eating, too in shock to move as two figures burst in. They were both draped in capes and wielded lightsabers. The first held onto a hilt bearing a sleek green blade while the other was holding a long yellow weapon. 

Kylo jumped up as if prepared and whipped out his trisaber. Red beams crackled and rumbled, silencing the crowd. Rey followed in his footsteps and pulled out from against her leg a yellow saberstaff. She held it aggressively.

“Who are you?” Kylo called as Snoke shuffled Trump behind him away from the action.

In response the figure with the green blade pulled his hood down. Kylo gasped but held onto his trisaber firmly. It was Luke Skywalker.

“Luke!” Rey cried out. She was about to lower her weapon but a look from Kylo pinned her in place.

“Why have you come?” Kylo growled and Luke gestured for his accomplice to show themselves. 

A woman with fairly short blonde hair lay behind the hood. Nobody showed any sense of recognition towards her apart from Trump who staggered forward away from Snoke.

“Hillary Clinton,” Trump spat with a hostile tone and the woman glared back at him.

“Donald Trump, we meet again,” She replied coldly. 

“How did you get here?” He demanded as he came closer but Kylo pushed him back slightly.

“It appears I’m not the only one trying to harness my inner force powers,” She answered. Luke glanced at her. He was clearly surprised that she had recognised anyone here but their meeting had to be saved for a later date.

“I came to retrieve something of mine,” Luke looked over at Rey who held her ground by Kylo.

“She’s not yours anymore,” Kylo finished and he dashed towards Luke. Their blades clashed together for a few moments before Hillary decided to join in. Rey sensed the danger before it happened and pounced in to block the incoming attack.

Meanwhile Snoke grabbed onto Trump’s hand and pulled him away.

“We need to get you out of here,” He spoke with urgency and they scrambled past the tables to the closest exit. Outside the air was thick with the smell of alcohol and engines. 

Trump followed Snoke’s flowing dress and they ran to their parked shuttle.

“What about Kylo and Rey?” Trump called to him but Snoke didn’t reply. He hopped into the driver’s seat and Trump strapped himself in behind. The ship was white inside with padded walls and a few seats lined the floor. When Snoke realised they were safe he tilted his head round the Trump.

“We’ll wait for them here. I’ll try and contact them through the force to run. We can face our enemies another time… How did you know the woman?” Snoke asked. A prick of jealousy danced through his words.

“That’s Hillary Clinton, one of my political rivals. I thought I was the only one to come here but obviously not,” He replied and Snoke nodded.

“I see,”

Snoke gathered himself and breathed slowly for a few moments. He pulled the force in around him and reached out to Kylo who was still battling in the restaurant. Snoke felt him receive the message and he returned his thoughts to the ship. After a few minutes Kylo ran hand in hand with Rey out of the restaurant. A flicker of yellow and green could be seen chasing after them but they reached the ship before their followers did. 

“I hate running from a fight I know I can win,” Kylo huffed as he sat down and shut the door. Rapidly, the ship took off leaving the Jedi behind. Rey double-checked by pacing up to the window to make sure they had acquired no stragglers.

“We’re clear,” She sighed and pushed away from the large window. Sitting down next to Kylo she exhaled. She had failed her mission of a successful date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilary Clinton is a Jedi mwa ha ha
> 
> It's time for Trump to craft a lightsaber...


	9. Chapter 9 - Trump Together with Snoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, I've been pretty busy lately...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Supreme smut... not really but there is a little

Chapter 9 – Trump Together with Snoke

The days after their attack were filled with fear and tension. Snoke doubled Trump’s training regime in order to prepare him for Hillary and Luke’s next visit. After a while, Snoke decided it was time for Trump to craft his own lightsaber. It would surely come in handy later on. 

Trump and Snoke took their fastest shuttle to the closest crystal caves which were located on their planet. After arriving and venturing through the caves for a short while, Trump needed a break.

“I need a break,” Trump sighed and he heaved himself onto a ledge. The caves were mostly pitch black and the only light came from Snoke’s lightsaber which was a deep crimson. The red bounced off the walls making the place increasingly sinister.

“We’ve only been walking for twenty minutes Trump,” Snoke protested, folding his arms. Donald huffed and leaned further back against the wall. 

“Sit with me Supreme Leader,” Trump pleaded like a puppy dog and Snoke rolled his eyes but agreed anyway. He perched himself neatly on the ledge with Trump and his eyes widened as Trump leant on his side. Trump pawed at Snoke’s robe.

“We can’t do that here,” Snoke spoke sharply and moved away slightly. Trump shuffled closer.

“Says who?” He spoke back flirtatiously. Despite Snoke’s initial thoughts he welcomed Trump on top of him. They seemed to fit perfectly together – they were made for each other.

After a few intense moments a rumble was heard from behind them. The cragged wall which supported them gave way pulling Trump and Snoke into its murky depths. Fast as lightning Snoke used the force to slow both his and Trump’s fall. They landed safely on their feet in a large open area. Trump gasped as he saw the walls as they were filled with multicolour crystals glistening and glowing. Snoke gasped also and held onto Trump.

“It’s always more beautiful than I remember,” He breathed out. He felt Trump flinch as he held his arm out.

“I can sense something,” Trump spoke and he reached out further. “I think it’s my crystal calling to me,” he added and stepped forward. Snoke watched in admiration as he continued walking until he reached a section of the wall covered in an abundance of crystals. Effortlessly, Donald plucked a small crystal from the wall and stood back. “This is it,” He turned to Snoke and flashed him a grin. 

“Great, now let’s get out of here,” Snoke called back and he glanced around for the nearest exit. Spotting an area of the cave which looked climbable he paced over and began clambering up. Trump followed until they reached the top. As Snoke emerged out he brushed off his robe and helped Trump through the gap. “We should get out of this cave before nightfall if we leave now,” Snoke explained. Trump nodded but before he could reply a hissing sound was heard from behind them. Both Trump and Snoke whipped around with Snoke turning on his lightsaber.

Two glowing yellow eyes were all that could be seen in the darkness and as the creature came closer it revealed more of its hideous looking body. Brown leather looking skin covered the beast like a blanket while spikes lined its back. It was large and looming over the couple before Snoke acted.

“Run Trump!” He stammered and started to sprint. Trump copied but unfortunately so did the beast. 

“We have to fight it,” Trump yelled through pants. He struggled to keep up with Snoke’s sleek agile body.

“With what?” Snoke answered and kept running. The beast was drawing closer and nipped at the back of Trump’s legs causing him to yelp in pain. Finally Snoke decided they couldn’t outrun it and he ignited his saber again to face the beast. Trump limped away slightly. Snoke began to spin his saber in his hands and pass it from side to side; he was warming up for the combat. 

Snoke cried out as he thrashed his lightsaber forward. Sparks flew as it came down onto the creature’s spine but at the same time the beast jabbed its spear-like arm forward. Snoke jumped backwards but the animal had already inflicted its damage and blood trickled down his robe. The beast faltered slightly and shuddered before falling to the ground. Snoke had managed to strike it down during his first blow.

Trump limped forwards and clutched Snoke’s arm preventing the blood from escaping.

“We have to get back to the ship,” Trump’s breath was ragged as he helped him to hobble away. 

“Agreed,” Snoke replied and together they staggered back to the ship.

Upon reaching the ship Trump planted Snoke on a seat and stood before the pilot’s controls.

“How do you fly this thing?” Trump cried out over his shoulder. Snoke glanced up still holding his arm tightly.

“You don’t know?” Snoke answered quietly.

“I’m a politician not a pilot!” Trump yelled back. Snoke stood up in annoyance and hobbled over to the flight controls. He landed in the seat and ushered Trump to the medical cabinet.

“I’ll fly. You fetch me some bandages and get something for your leg,” Snoke finished and flicked a few switches. The ship thrummed to life and the lights illuminated the cockpit. Donald understood and went to grab some supplies. He wrapped a bandage roughly round his leg before going over to Snoke’s side and tending to his wound. He layered the bandage over the cut and sat beside him in the co-pilot’s seat.

“How long should it take to get there?” Trump asked as he felt around in his pocket for his newly acquired crystal.

“Not long,” Snoke answered. He seemed distracted by the controls in front of him. “An hour at most,”

Trump leant back in his seat and winced slightly at the pain in his leg. It had gotten worse but it was still tolerable. He glanced over at Snoke’s arm. The red from his wound had penetrated the bandages and left a deep maroon stain. Funnily enough, Trump was surprised. He had assumed due to Snoke’s grey skin that his blood would’ve been silver. He was more human than he had initially thought. 

Snoke breathed out slowly as the ship took off. Even though they had encountered problems he found that he had enjoyed this ordeal. He wondered if this was what happiness felt like.


	10. Chapter 10 - Trump Trumps the Strump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Throws some problems into the strump pot

Chapter 10 – Trump Trumps the Strump

“Out of my way!” Snoke yelled dramatically as he pushed through a group of unsuspecting Stormtroopers. Trump was limping at his side and struggling to keep up. They were headed directly for the medical bay. The dark walls rushed passed them as they reached the soft white walls and clear glass panes that made up the medical bay. Stormtroopers, like robots, jolted and stood up to attention when Snoke barged in. “Medical droid. Help with my apprentice’s leg and see to my arm,” He announced. The Stormtroopers that had noticed Snoke attempted to silently leave the wing. They knew of his power and how prone to outbursts he was.

The closest droid left a patient’s side and rolled over to the couple. He looked over them and took note of their injuries.

“Please each take a seat on one of the free beds and we will see to you shortly,” He spoke in a monotone mechanical voice. Snoke grunted and marched over to one of the beds while Trump limped to the closest bed to Snoke. The Supreme Leader sighed as he examined his arm which was now bleeding heavily. He winced as he brought his finger down to touch the wound. Snoke noticed that Trump looked quite photogenic whilst perched on a bed. The way his hair was positioned reminded him of the rats with bushy tails that used to climb up the trees in his garden when he was a child.

His moment of nostalgia was broken by the sound of Kylo entering the medical bay causing even more Stormtroopers to leave. Rey trotted in behind him and pointed Kylo over to where the couple were sat.

“Supreme Leader, what happened? Were you attacked?” Kylo sounded panicked and paid little attention to Trump’s blood which was leaving a puddle on the floor.

“It’s just a scratch, nothing to worry about. A cave dwelling beast attacked us,” Snoke replied and he lowered his head. “Besides, it’s Trump we should be worrying about,” Snoke gestured to Trump but Kylo showed zero interest in the man and continued addressing Snoke.

“Were you successful in your venture? To get a crystal for your apprentice’s lightsaber?” Kylo continued.

“Quite successful. I am expecting Trump to finish crafting his lightsaber in a few days,” Snoke finished as a medical droid rushed passed Rey and Kylo. It began working on Snoke’s arm but Snoke pushed it away. “Not me. Fix Trump first,” He ordered and the medical droid obeyed moving over to Trump. Donald shuddered and his usual vibrant orange skin had faded to a ghostly white. He felt the bed calling to him and a wave of darkness rushed over his eyes. He fainted backwards into the bed. Snoke screaming ‘Trump’ was the last thing he heard.

He awoke to what seemed to be a few hours later to the shape of a grey oval hovering above him. As his eyes cleared the shape grew more detailed and the ridges of the shape formed the ridges of Snoke’s many battle scars.

“Snoke?” Trump wheezed out, his voice barely a whisper.

“I’m here,” Snoke replied with more compassion than usual. He felt Snoke’s wrinkled fingers caress his face gently. Kylo, once again, cut their romantic moment short after clearing his throat awkwardly. Trump propped himself up with the help of Snoke and noticed that he had been moved to a private room, his leg had been bandaged and Kylo and Rey were stood on the opposite side of the room. 

“What happened?” Donald asked; he was still feeling dazed.

“You fainted due to the bleeding. You lost so much blood… I was scared I was going to lose you,” Snoke’s voice quivered and for the first time Trump saw what appeared to be tears form in his big glassy eyes.

“Supreme Leader for forces sake,” Kylo complained and Snoke whipped round to face him.

“Leave us boy your presence is not needed nor wanted,” He hissed at him. Kylo buckled at the sudden voice raise but decided it was best to leave them.

“Come Rey, we should get back to training,” Kylo spoke quietly as he left the room and Rey trailed behind. Snoke turned back to face Trump who’s face had started to return to its usual colour.

“Are you feeling alright?” Snoke’s tears had vanished and his face had hardened but he still spoke with compassion. Donald Trump nodded and adjusted his suit.

“I feel much better now,” He answered and Snoke’s face lit up.

“Great, after you make a full recovery we must start on the construction of your lightsaber,” Snoke began. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you but we need to talk,” Trump changed the topic back to them and Snoke’s excitement faded slightly.

“What is it?” He begged for Trump to continue. Trump began to speak but stuttered. He composed himself before continuing.

“I’m married Snoke, I have children. I don’t know if I could leave them for you,” Trump explained. Snoke’s knees buckled and he had to grasp the wall.

“You’re already in a relationship?” Snoke’s face had faded from his usual grey to a white. The water in a nearby glass shuddered and the atmosphere felt denser. The force was drawing in around them.

“I love you Snoke but I love them too,” Trump trailed off and hung his head. Snoke’s hands slid down the wall as he collapsed on to the floor.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” The tears that had vanished before were back and cascading down Snoke’s face.

“Being with you made me forget… I’m so in love but I just remembered them now and I don’t know if I’m ready to leave them to be with you,” Trump struggled to get his words across. Snoke pushed his feet off the floor and stood to his full height. 

“You’re obviously still recovering from your wound,” He muttered, refusing to meet his gaze. “I shall return when you’re feeling better,” Snoke turned to a nearby droid and whispered to him. “He needs more medication,” Snoke took one final look at Trump before leaving the private room.

His cape billowed behind him as he stormed out of the medical bay. He was stopped in his tracks when Rey stepped out in front of him. Kylo was leaning against the wall near her.

“How’s Trump? Is he feeling better?” Light radiated off her even though she had filled her life with so much darkness. Snoke looked away and growled.

“Leave me alone girl and stay away from Trump. He isn’t himself,” Snoke replied with his words basking in anger. Rey looked taken aback by his sudden attitude shift.

“Oh,” she answered and stepped aside to let him pass. Seeing Rey happy with Kylo only seemed to infuriate Snoke more but he bottled in his emotion and swallowed it down. Kylo had already made a point that he didn’t approve of him and Trump, perhaps he was right. Snoke pushed away the thought. To him Trump was still foggy after his faint. He didn’t even know what he was saying.


	11. Chapter 11 - The Truth about Trump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out Trump's deepest darkest secret...

Chapter 11 – The Truth about Trump

After waking up for the second time feeling heavy headed, Trump decided he needed to shower. He couldn’t quite remember what he had spoken about with Snoke. All he seemed to remember was mentioning that he was married and Snoke didn’t take it too well. Stopping by a medical droid, he asked for directions to the nearest shower room. Trump didn’t think he could manage walking all the way back to his room in his grimy medical gown. The droid pointed him in the right direction and he set off.

Meanwhile Snoke paced around his rooms. His head was a mass of running thoughts and questions. Why didn’t Trump tell him sooner? Were they not serious until that point? Snoke bashed his fist against the wall and didn’t flinch when it left a large mark. He almost felt as though he was turning into Kylo, he’d never really flown into fits much before. Snoke pondered for a few moments before deciding he needed to relax and calm down. A nice shower would do just fine. 

He marched over to his and twisted the dial violently. It snapped straight off and landed on the floor, the clattering noise echoed around the bathroom. 

“For force’s sake!” He cursed to himself. There was no way it was going to work now. He would have to use the nearest shower room. His cloak billowing behind him, he rushed out of his rooms.

As Trump arrived at the shower room, he stopped to take a good look. It was nothing like the public shower in Trump Tower. This room was large with a single wall dividing the centre. Each side of the wall had many showers and benches lined the outside. Without even thinking he strode round so he wasn’t facing the door and threw his clothes across the room dramatically. He sighed as the hot water gushed over his skin.

Snoke arrived shortly after. He noticed that there was somebody washing on the other side of the wall but he didn’t care who saw his naked body now. He needed a shower and Snoke always got whatever he wanted. Snoke marched round to the other side of the wall and flung of his cloak. It landed next to a yellow stained hospital gown. ‘Ew’ he thought to himself as he turned on the water. 

It cascaded down his grey, naked, vulnerable body and he used his hands to ensure it reached all areas. His eyes were closed but part of him wanted to glance over to see who was also washing. Snoke reached the conclusion that one peak wouldn’t hurt so his eyes opened slowly.

He almost jumped back a foot when he saw who was in his company. Trump was standing metres away enjoying his shower far too much.

“Trump!” He called out in surprise. Donald’s eyes flew open and he covered himself with his hands for modesty.

“What are you doing here?” He replied equally as surprised. Snoke stepped back even more when he noticed Trump’s skin. His usual orange colour was dripping down his sides and it was leaving behind much darker skin. 

“What’s wrong with your skin Trump? It’s sliding off you!” Snoke yelled and he ran closer placing his hand on Trump’s shoulder. “What?” He said more quietly as some of the orange ran onto his grey. Trump yelped as he noticed it too. 

“No! My tan! You weren’t supposed to see that… My spray tan must be wearing off,” A much more tanned Trump spoke. He looked down as though he was ashamed of his body. “You weren’t supposed to see me like this… I’m actually Mexican,” Trump finished and he averted his eyes away from Snoke.

“I don’t know what a Mexican is,” Snoke answered and he lifted Trump’s face back up to his eyes. “But I still think you look stunning,” Snoke smiled and Trump blushed. 

“Really?” Donald’s eyes lit up and he glanced down again. “My hair is fake too…” He muttered and he removed his wispy blonde hair to reveal a tuft of almost black curls. As if suddenly realising they were both naked Trump stepped back and ran over to his hospital gown. He pulled it on himself and Snoke did the same with his cloak. “I can’t let people see me like this though; do you have a spray tan booth?” Trump asked hopefully but Snoke looked at him blankly.

“I’ve never heard of a spray tan but if they existed, I would get one,” He laughed and Trump huffed. He adjusted his hair and placed the blonde wig back on.

“There has to be some way to make my skin turn back to orange,” He sighed in annoyance. Snoke lit up all of a sudden and smirked.

“There is a darkside power which might do the trick,” Snoke explained as he raised his right arm and breathed out slowly. Trump’s skin began to morph and change back into his trademark orange and he flashed Snoke a presidential smile.

“This is brilliant!” He admired his new colouring. “Is it permanent?” He asked and Snoke nodded.

“It won’t change unless another darkside user changes it back,” Snoke confirmed. Trump clasped his hands together but then returned them to his sides and his happiness faded.

“We still need to talk about us Snoke,” Trump began and Snoke’s smile twisted into a frown.

“Yes,” Snoke agreed. He folded his arms.

“I’ve decided I’m ending it with my wife. My feelings for you are too strong. I’ve never felt love like this before. I’ll love you if you take me back,” Trump stumbled on a few of his words. He was clearly nervous and Snoke’s heart dropped in his chest. He felt a few tears build in his eyes.

“Oh Trump… There is nothing in the universe I wouldn’t do to be with you. Of course I’ll take you back,” Snoke answered as he sprinted towards Trump. Taking him in his arms, he span him around and their lips clasped together. The tongues battled for dominance in each other’s mouths and Snoke let out a small feral sounding moan.

At that moment, a Stormtrooper stepped round the wall and saw them. He gasped, eyes widened and ran. His shower could wait; he had to tell his comrades what he just saw.

 

***

Hours later Kylo was marching down the corridor with Rey when he felt her stop for a moment. He whipped round to see what the problem was but she just stood there confused.

“What’s wrong Rey?” He questioned whilst looking around to see what had bothered her so much. She looked up at him straight through the mask.

“I just overheard a group of Stormtroopers giggling and laughing about The Supreme Leader,” She muttered, pulling him to one side.

“What? They should fear him not be laughing. What were they talking about?” He demanded to know the answer. She shook her head in disappointment.

“They said that apparently Snoke and his apprentice were spotted making out half naked in the shower rooms,” She answered and Kylo dipped his head.

“He’s going to have fun sorting this rumour out…” Kylo spoke with an annoyed tone.

“Rumour? You and I both know that it is highly unlikely to be a rumour,” Rey replied and Kylo nodded.

“True… He needs to learn to control himself especially in public areas,” Kylo stopped and thought for a moment. “Should we tell him about the rumour or let him figure it out for himself?” 

“I don’t know about you but I have a feeling if we told him he would likely kill the messenger… Let’s pretend we didn’t hear anything and he’ll work it out for himself,” Rey explained looking for approval of her idea from Kylo.

“Agreed,” He finished and they continued their journey to the training room.


	12. Chapter 12 - Call me Supreme Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trump sees just how far Snoke will go for him
> 
> S T R U M P <3 <3

Chapter 12 – Call me Supreme Leader

Even though the base was encased in darkness; Snoke’s room was filled with a brilliant light when he awoke. The previous night, after their encounter in the shower, Snoke had rushed Trump to his room so they could continue to fulfil each other’s inner passion. Snoke was lying in bed with his arm tucked around Trump’s body while Trump’s yellow haired head was resting on Snoke’s shoulder.

“Good morning Trump,” Snoke whispered softly into Trump’s ear. He felt Trump shiver and he turned to look up at him.

“Good morning Snoke,” Trump yawned.

“Call me Supreme Leader… Like you did last night,” Snoke chuckled deviously. The orange man shuffled so he was positioned on top of Snoke.

“Of course, Supreme Lea-“He was interrupted as the door to Snoke’s room slid open. Trump leapt off of him and hid under the covers and Snoke pulled the blanket over his chest. Kylo Ren stood in the doorway with Rey peeking round his side.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo addressed him and Snoke blushed. Memories of last night danced around his mind.

“What is it boy can’t you see I’m busy?” The Supreme Leader hissed back at Kylo.

“Sorry Supreme Leader but there’s trouble, we think it might be Luke Skywalker all of our systems are down and if I might add sir, it is past midday,” Kylo explained. Snoke shuffled so he was sat up fully.

“I’ll be right out,” He finished and Kylo saw his opportunity to leave the awkward couple and make his exit. The door slid firmly shut behind him and Trump resurfaced from under the covers.

“I’ve been thinking. What am I supposed to wear? I can’t run to my room naked to grab clothes and my previous outfit is all torn up thanks to you,” Trump complained. Snoke grunted and marched over to his closet. He was completely naked and yet didn’t feel at all vulnerable. He picked out a robe for him and tossed another at Trump.

“This should fit you,” He spoke as he began changing into his chosen outfit. Donald inspected the robe before climbing into it himself. The black clashed with his orange skin but other than that, it fit fine. Snoke smirked as he saw his lover in his clothes. “Suits you… You should wear cloaks more often,” He said admiringly.

“Thanks,” Trump replied. “I do feel kinda… How do the kids say it… Badass?” He chuckled.

After they’d gotten fully dressed the couple exited the room and began their journey to the main control centre. They met Kylo standing by the main control panel at the head of the base. The room was spacious and has many officers and generals working at separate stations. Rey was nearby, chatting to some of the officers.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo dipped his head respectfully.

“Yes yes what’s the problem?” Snoke felt butterflies in his stomach as Kylo called him by the same name Trump had last night. He didn’t need any more reminders.

“Something is blocking our systems. We’ve tried removing it but it seems the only way we can return to using our systems normally is for the message to be broadcasted to the entire base. We believe it may be resistance propaganda from Luke. We thought you should be here to see it,” Kylo explained the problem and Snoke nodded.

“Broadcast it,” He announced and Kylo gestured to a nearby general who was positioned in front of a computer. The general hit a few buttons and a holo-screen appeared in front of them. After a few seconds of static the sound of cheesy romance music echoed around the room in fact, the music filled the entire base. Everyone stopped what they were doing and shared confused glances with one another until the picture appeared. 

Someone had used a computer to edit a picture of Supreme Leader Snoke and his apprentice standing together. Hearts were badly drawn around them and every few seconds the picture switched from them standing to them making out with each other. Snoke gasped and everyone in the room burst out into laughter. Rey, with a horrified expression, moved away from the officers who were laughing so hysterically and went over to Kylo who, even though he was wearing a mask, she could tell he wasn’t laughing. 

Snoke slammed his hands onto the control panel and the image and music disappeared but the laughter continued. 

“Who did this,” Snoke’s voice reached a new volume as he roared. The laughter halted and people stood to attention. However, giggling could still be heard from outside. 

Nobody responded and there once happy faces had turned to faces of fear. Snoke grasped a device and held it to his face. He pressed down hard on a button and spoke with incredible power into the microphone.

“The people who are responsible for this will come forward and report to me immediately,” Snoke’s voice was broadcasted across the entire base. Trump, who was blushing deeply, could feel that Snoke was using a mind trick. No doubt the guilty party would be here in a matter of minutes. People in the control centre looked around expecting someone to come forward. After a few awful minutes of waiting, a group of four Stormtroopers marched into the room and stood in a straight line in front of Snoke. They returned to a relaxed position after the realisation that they had been mind-tricked hit them.

Snoke paced up and down with a fierce anger burning in his eyes.

“You wanted something to be broadcasted… Well we can broadcast this,” Snoke pointed at the closest general and he hit a few buttons causing the screen to reappear with Snoke and the Stormtroopers on it. It was showing the entire base what happens when you cross Snoke. 

“Please Snoke, they were just having fun, they don’t deserve to die” Rey called out. She was grasping onto Kylo’s side. Snoke’s eyes burned into Rey and he held out his arm. She felt all the air being sucked out of her body.

“Don’t question me girl, this scum didn’t only cross me they crossed Trump too and people need to know that by hurting Trump you hurt me,” He released his arm and she collapsed onto the floor. Kylo half caught her and helped her regain her balance while Snoke resumed his attention on the Stormtroopers. He pulled his lightsaber from his hilt and thumbed it to life. The red blade emerged fiercely and cast a crimson glow on the first offender’s armour. Snoke used the force to hold him in place and he pushed the blade slowly into his abdomen. The soldier cried out in pain and his comrades yelped but they were also held in place with Snoke’s power. 

Rey attempted to call out again but Kylo held her tightly and said nothing as he turned his head away from the show. Rey buried her face in his chest and tried to ignore the screaming. 

Snoke held the blade in place for a few moments before slowly removing it and giving the trooper a twisted smile as his farewell gift. The soldier slumped to the ground and Snoke proceeded to the next one.

Trump, although slightly horrified, felt truly protected by Snoke. He enjoyed seeing just how far Snoke would go for him. He hoped he would someday do the same for Snoke.


	13. Chapter 13 - Trump Takes a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are only a few more chapters of Trump Wars to go :(
> 
> If you want more Strump I started writing another fanfic called Neighbour Wars (Strump + Reylo + Stormpilot). It's an Earth AU but still has lots of Strump! http://archiveofourown.org/works/6428524/chapters/14715271

Chapter 13 – Trump Takes a Life

After a few days of tinkering and playing around with the force, Donald had finally constructed his own lightsaber. He felt himself glowing with pride as he held the weighted cylinder in his hand. It was made out of a dark metal and had a single red blade that emerged from the emitter when the gold button was pressed. Snoke patted him on the back as he too looked over the weapon.

“That’s a fine lightsaber Trump,” Snoke pointed out. Trump flashed him a smile and thumbed it to life. The blade hissed and thrummed as he moved it around in the ways that Snoke had shown him.

“I think I’m ready to fight Hillary now,” Trump remarked. Snoke paused in thought for a moment. Trump had certainly improved his skills but would it be enough? There was only one way to find out.

“Let’s go after them. I’ll take care of Luke while you go for Hillary. Rey should know of their training location as she was his pupil too… We should go to her now and find out where to go,” Snoke explained whilst pacing up and down the training room.

“Agreed,” Trump finished and they began their short journey to Kylo’s training room. If their instincts were correct, she should be with him.

***

Upon opening the door Trump discovered Rey in the expected position; on top of Kylo. The couple on the floor flinched and sat up immediately upon sensing their master. Rey leapt off Kylo and they both stood to attention.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo dipped his head respectfully. Snoke waved his hand to the side and came forward.

“Yes yes we’re not here for you,” Snoke hissed and went towards Rey.

“What?” Kylo questioned and stepped aside.

“We need to ask Rey a few questions, that’s all,” Snoke explained and he stopped in front of Rey. She showed little fear despite of the events a few days ago. 

“Supreme Leader,” Rey spoke in a high pitch voice – her nerves were showing now.

“You need to tell us where Luke Skywalker’s training grounds would be,” He folded his arms. Rey’s eyes darted around the room.

“Well… Last time I trained with him we were on Ach-to,” She began “But if he’s smart he would’ve trained Hillary somewhere else,”

Snoke grunted and clenched his fists at his sides.

“Let’s assume he’s not smart. Trump- we’re leaving for Ach-to… Now,” Snoke decided as Trump followed him out of the training room. 

After they left, Rey turned to Kylo.

“Do you think they’ll be there?” She asked. Although she was officially part of the darkside now, she still felt displeasure at the thought of Luke dying. He had been her teacher at one point after all.

“Between you and me – I hope not,” He replied and he placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “We both know that if they were, it wouldn’t end well,” They came together in an embrace.

***

The ship touched down on Ach-to several hours later. Straight away Snoke knew Luke was here, he could sense him. Trump could also sense his political rival and he gripped his saber in anticipation. Snoke sensed his excitement.

“Keep a sharp mind Trump. Never underestimate them,” Snoke reminded Trump as they stepped cautiously out of the ship. 

Using the force, Snoke followed his instinct to a clearing. He stopped once he reached the centre and Trump came up behind him.

“They’re here,” Snoke whispered and turned on his saber. Crimson light washed over them both. Trump copied and they stood back to back. Luke emerged from a group of trees within minutes; however Hillary was nowhere to be seen.

“Snoke,” Luke muttered under his breath and pushed down his hood revealing his aged face. “I sensed your arrival…” He breathed slowly and calmly. This only seemed to infuriate Snoke more.

“I’ve waited for this moment for years. The day when I finally get to see your blood spilled in front of me!” The volume of his voice rose as he dashed forward baring his saber but Luke was ready. Green and red clashed together and a tremendous crackling sound tore through the surrounding forest. Trump stepped backwards to let them battle. He admired the graceful movements of Snoke’s body but he pushed any unclean thoughts – now was not the time. Instead he focused on the most pressing matter: defeating Hillary.

“Hillary!” He called out as he circled around the clearing searching for her. Leaves rustled nearby and he whipped his head round. Hillary landed behind him and ignited her lightsaber instantly laying it against his neck.

“Can’t believe you fell for that Trump,” She spoke in a disappointed tone. Trump let out a feral sounding growl and spun around to face her. He pressed his lightsaber against her own, pushing it away with such a force that she fell backwards. “I see Snoke has taught you well… But I was always better than you,” She sneered as they both held their lightsabers out in front of them. Trump eyed her like a hawk watching, seeking his prey. He made the first move and jumped at her plunging his saber towards her chest. Hillary darted away and struck him on the shoulder. “Surrender Trump, we can return to Earth together,” She sounded desperate. 

“And then what? You win the election and we all go home? Never!” Trump growled. As he swung his saber his hair flopped around dramatically. It seemed to have a mind of its own and be fighting its own battle with the wind.

“I suppose… If you die here… No one will be able to prove I did it,” Hillary’s saber met with his arm once more but he used the force to throw it across the clearing. Hillary cried out as it hit a rock several metres away. She turned back to Trump whose saber was close to her neck. He showed little mercy as he ended her. Remorse might have been present in his mind but adrenaline had consumed him so much that he wouldn’t have noticed it. He glanced over to Snoke who was still battling Luke. Just as Luke was about to get the better of him he noticed Hillary lying on the floor. The distraction caught him off guard and Snoke plunged his saber into his abdomen. A feint cry escaped his lips as he fell to his knees. Snoke’s twisted smile morphed into a laugh.

***

Far away Rey, who was sparring with Kylo, stopped mid swing and collapsed onto her knees. Kylo new straight away what was troubling her as he felt it too. 

“Luke’s dead, isn’t he?” she muttered in utter shock. He sat down to her level and comforted her by wrapping her into his arms.  
“Yes,” was all he said as Rey stifled a cry. They didn’t move from their positions for a while as sadness consumed them both. 

***

Back on Ach-to, a more celebratory emotion flowed around the clearing. Trump felt the urge to flail his arms around in his attempt at a dance but he decided against it.

“Good job Trump,” Snoke laughed as he patted his comrade on the back. “Victory is ours,” He then noticed his arm. “Gosh Trump, you’ve taken quite a beating,” His happiness faded to concern. “Let’s get you to a med bay. After we should throw a party… Imagine that?” He led Trump up to their ship stepping over Luke’s body like it was dirt on the street. “A First Order party! Everyone is invited,” Even Trump laughed along with him now. He had one less candidate to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6428524/chapters/14715271
> 
> More Strump!! ^-^


	14. Chapter 14 - Trump Travels to Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end D:
> 
> Don't worry everything will work out in the end :)
> 
> I might extend this a bit as I just got some new ideas :P

Chapter 14 – Trump Travels to Earth

Back on The First Order base, Snoke had ordered for a huge party to take place. He hired fifty dancers and musicians to perform and entertain the guests. The guests being the thousands of Stormtroopers they had. Snoke blasted loud party music across the entire base that was so loud The Resistance could probably hear them but Snoke didn’t care – there was no one left to hurt him or Trump.

Snoke took a sip from his glass of wine as he put his arm around Trump. They were both cheering and laughing to each other. Quite the opposite to Rey and Kylo who were sat in silence nearby…

“Here’s to us!” Snoke raised his glass. “One step closer to completely ruling the Galaxy,” The surrounding Stormtroopers cheered and Trump chuckled. His laughter seemed forced though, Snoke sensed something was wrong. “Trump, what’s wrong? You should be happy,” Snoke asked, concerned.

Trump returned his question with a smile. 

“Nothing’s wrong… I’m just tired,” Trump waved away his worries and Snoke smirked again. “Actually, would you mind walking me to my room? I’m feeling a little feint,” Snoke could tell that Trump was lying. Perhaps he had something else on his mind?

“Of course, Trump,” Snoke sighed and placed his drink down to stand up. 

They walked together to Trump’s room. On the way they passed many partying groups of Stormtroopers who each cheered as they saw the Supreme Leader. Snoke replied with another cheer followed by the occasional ‘Long live the First Order!’ 

Their journey would have been completely normal if it weren’t for the sudden odd feeling that came over Snoke as they were reaching Trump’s room. 

“Snoke, are you alright?” Trump questioned him as Snoke stumbled for a moment. He quickly steadied himself and they continued walking. A wave of pain and fog washed over Snoke once more and he bought his hand to his head.

“Quite fine,” Snoke lied, closing his eyes to wash out the pain. 

“You should come in and sit down,” Trump suggested as he helped Snoke into his room. Snoke tried to stay upright but another wave came over him and he collapsed onto Trump’s bed.

“I think I’ve been drugged,” Snoke’s speech was slurred. Trump helped him lie down and watched as Snoke drifted out of consciousness.

“It’ll all be over soon,” Trump cooed to him, petting his head. He smirked to himself once he was sure Snoke was completely out and he jumped of the bed. He needed to work fast if his plan were to work. 

Trump knelt down and reached under his bed. Grabbing two pair of cuffs he pulled them out and attached them to Snoke’s wrists. He then connected the other end to the frame of his bed. Afterwards, he stepped back and admired his work. Snoke would have difficulty using the force once he awoke. These cuffs were made of a special material that prevented force users from using the force. 

Trump then went to the other side of the room and opened his closet. Inside there was a small metal machine with various wires poking out of it. Trump had managed to craft using some spare parts around the base. He quickly pulled out the machine and connected one of the wires to Snoke’s wrist. He then connected them to various other places and stood back still grasping the machine.

“I’m sorry pal,” Trump muttered as he turned on the machine. Part of him didn’t want to do this. After all, he had grown attached to Snoke over the past few weeks. He blinked away a traitorous tear as the flow of electricity reached Snoke. He had to do this – for America.

Snoke awoke immediately and pulled on the bindings. He blinked a few times to clear his head before realising he was attached to something. He saw Trump and then gasped as the electricity hit him.

“Trump!” He screamed out in pain. “What are you doing?” He tried to use the force to release his restraints but the force appeared to do nothing while he was restrained. He screamed in pain again and looked at Trump with wide eyes. “I love you Trump, but what are you doing?” Tears escaped his dark eyes. Why was Trump betraying him?

Trump turned down the machine and took a step towards Snoke.

“I’m sorry Snoke but I need to do this for America,” Trump said quietly, not daring to make eye contact with Snoke.

“Why kill me Trump? I would never betray you, I love you,” Snoke breathed and for the first time in a long while, he felt afraid.

“That is why you must die. You’re a distraction… Besides, I’m married Snoke. I have children… I just needed the force too and now I have it and you’re the only thing stopping me from ruling both Earth and this Galaxy,” Trump explained. Snoke looked at him in shock and didn’t hold back his tears.

“This whole time… You never loved me?” Snoke whimpered. Trump nodded.

“I needed your power and now I have it,” Trump repeated whilst Snoke looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes.

“Then kill me… For I have nothing left to live for,” Snoke sighed. Trump gulped and actually felt his heart beat slightly. Was this what heartbreak felt like?

“I’m sorry Snoke. Truly, I am,” Trump turned on the machine to full power and placed it down on the side. He needed to leave for Earth now and claim it before any other politician decided to get in his way. Trump took one final look at Snoke before fleeing the base. 

***

Meanwhile, at the party downstairs, Rey felt odd all of a sudden. She glanced up at Kylo who was sipping some wine.

“Did you feel that? A disturbance in the force,” Rey breathed slowly. Kylo placed down his cup and closed his eyes for a moment.

“I feel it too. It’s coming from Trump’s room,” Kylo replied and stood to his feet. “I think Snoke’s in trouble,” 

Rey nodded and slid of the stool to join him as they ran through the corridors. Stormtroopers cheered to them but they didn’t reply, just kept running. Kylo was surprised as they reached Trump’s room for the door was open. He heard a strange moan coming from inside. Just as he was about to go in Rey stopped him.

“What if they’re just…Y’know… Having fun? We don’t want to disturb them,” Rey said, worried. Kylo paused to think but spoke to disagree.

“I think the whole base would hear it if they were. The door is open,” Kylo answered and he stepped in. 

Immediately he rushed over to The Supreme Leader’s side. Snoke was lying limply on the bed. He seemed to have given up the struggle and the pillow which his head laid on was soggy with tears. 

“Turn off that machine,” Kylo yelled to Rey and she obeyed. Snoke breathed slowly as the current stopped flowing. He opened his eyes cautiously as Kylo removed the cuffs and threw them across the room. “Supreme Leader, what happened?” Kylo asked softly. Snoke’s eyes darted around the room looking for Trump but he was long gone.

“Trump,” Snoke whimpered. “Betrayed me… He left for Earth,” Kylo shook his head and Rey came over to his side.

“But Trump loves you, he wouldn’t,” Kylo answered.

“He lied,” Snoke spat. “I am a fool. A weak fool,” Snoke began to cry again. “Now I am dying not because of the electricity but because of my heart. It is breaking,” Snoke’s voice became less and less audible as the tears increased.

“No Supreme Leader,” Kylo replied and he attempted to lift Snoke. “We need to get him to a med bay,” Kylo heaved but he couldn’t lift him. Snoke was far too heavy. Too Kylo’s surprise, Rey pushed him aside and slipped her hands under Snoke. With one swift movement, Snoke was over her shoulder.

“I got it,” She spoke, casually. Kylo felt embarrassed but led her to the nearest med bay. Hopefully, they could save Snoke. 

“What about Trump?” Kylo asked. “Should we go after him?”

Rey nodded and adjusted her grip on Snoke.

“We would be as bad as Trump if we let any other planet deal with him… We need to go after him,” She decided. 

“Okay, we leave for Earth immediately after we get Snoke to safety,” Kylo finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Snoke :(
> 
> The feels D:


	15. Chapter 15 - Trump's Taking the Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I've been pretty busy :P

Chapter 15 – Trump’s taking the attention

“You did pack the rocket boots right?” Kylo called to Rey as he came in to land the ship. They had just arrived on the planet of which they first met Trump. Rey remembered it clearly, Kylo killing a comrade, Trump falling, Trump landing… The memories gave her shivers as she doubled checked for the boots.

“Yep,” she answered, pulling out two pairs from the storage room. The ship touched down and Kylo left the panel. Rey tossed him a pair of boots as she began to strap hers on. 

“What do we do when we get there?” she asked him, snapping the buckles.

“We search for Trump and bring him back. Supreme Leader wants him alive,” Kylo instructed. He stood up and took a few paces in the boots. As the portal was in the sky, they needed to fly to reach it. “You ready?” he double- checked with her feeling a spike of anticipation.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she confirmed and took his hand as they stepped outside.

The skies were as dark and stormy as they had been on the original night. Trump had left an imprint on the ground when he fell which was still there, plastered into the mud. 

“This is the spot,” she shuddered as she remembered the weight of him on top of her. They kicked their boots alive and began to ascend towards the portal. As they soared higher so did their anxieties. They both had no idea what Earth looked like or whether it was even a peaceful planet. Kylo remembered Snoke telling him about Trump Tower and how Trump will most likely be there but that was little help.

With one final look the couple dived into the portal.

***

They hit the ground hard when they fell through. The pair kicked off their boots immediately and stood up. They grasped their sabers tightly in case of an enemy attack. Kylo stiffened when he saw the ‘enemy’ in the room. An old man in a lab coat was curled into a tight ball in the corner of the room. He was shivering and quivering making a terrified shriek as he noticed Kylo and Rey.

Rey gently approached him and released the grasp on her saber.

“We’re not here to hurt you… We’re looking for Trump,” she spoke softly. Kylo admired her gentle way with words.

“H… He came through here,” the man stuttered, “He had a… a laser sword… He’s gone to do a press release. Says he’s going to… to take over the world.” The man curled into a tighter ball and sniffled.

“Come,” Kylo told her harshly, “This man is no help.” Kylo moved towards the door and used the force to push it open. He stopped and flexed his hand. “The force is different here,” he noted, “but it is still strong… I think Trump is going to use mind tricks on the people of Earth.” 

Rey nodded and stood by him. She took one final look at the scientist before leaving him in the corner. She knew that she did not have time to help him anymore.

***

When they finally made it out of Trump Tower they saw a large mob gathered just outside the building. Cameras were flashing and people were throwing questions. Rey gasped as she looked around. The atmosphere was clean and there were no star ships anywhere. Humans were walking down the streets in strange clothes. She even noticed some of them stare at her in funny ways. 

“Trump’s over there,” Kylo hissed, about to ignite his lightsaber but Rey stopped him.

“You saw how that old man reacted to Trump’s saber. We don’t want to hurt them, remember?” Rey’s wise words flowed into his ears and he took notice. He was here for Trump and Trump alone. The First Order had no quarrel with this unknown planet. 

Before they had a chance to approach him a small child ran in front of the pair and squealed.

“Eeek! Mommy, look! It’s Kilo Ren and Rey from Star Wars,” the small child grabbed onto Rey’s leg and jumped up and down. Rey felt very confused she had never heard of ‘Star Wars’. Was it another planet perhaps? 

“Rey!” Kylo stepped back, “Careful, it might be dangerous,” He looked very afraid but Rey just smiled at him. At that moment the Mother of the child ran forwards and took its hand.

“So sorry about that, nice costumes by the way… Good luck on the new movie,” the mother called as she ushered the child away. 

“That was weird,” Rey remarked and Kylo stepped back by her side.

“Agreed,” he responded. “But now… We need to deal with Trump,” Kylo concluded and marched forward to the gaggle of people. He was about to use the force to clear a path but the Press turned on him.

“It’s the cast of Star Wars!” One of the reporters called and they flooded towards him with microphones and cameras. Kylo flinched and backed away but they wouldn’t leave him alone. Rey stood next to him back to back as they were surrounded by reporters. She spotted Trump scowling at them.

“If you don’t start filming me again I’m going to lower wages by 10% when I’m president!” Trump bellowed and the reporters stood back from Kylo and Rey. The sea of journalists slowly trickled back to Trump and focused their cameras on him face as Trump began to address the camera.

“You will all vote for me in the next election,” Trump was using mind tricks. 

“We have to stop him!” Rey shouted and Kylo nodded. They both ignited their sabers causing the cameras to turn and fixate on them again, much to Trump’s displeasure. People nearby gasped and laughed; they all believed it to be some kind of show. 

Trump also whipped out his saber and ignited it. The cameras were torn, unsure of who to focus on. Billboards attached to skyscrapers that were displaying news now displayed Trump twirling his saber and stalking Kylo and Rey.

“Don’t underestimate my power!” Trump called in his thick accent, readying his saber. “You can’t defeat me… Not even your Supreme Leader can save you now,” 

“We’ll see about that, Trump,” Kylo hissed back, leaping towards Trump with his saber crackling and sparking.


	16. Chapter 16 -Trump is told of a new twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh the last chapter :'(
> 
> Expect a sequel to come out soon ^-^
> 
> Long live the strump!

Chapter 16 – Trump is told of a new twist

Kylo leapt into action, with Rey following closely behind. Their sound of their sabers meeting tore through the noise of the city, causing people nearby to jump and shriek. Due to Trump’s sheer mass, Kylo stumbled backwards but Rey joined the push against Donald fearlessly. 

They parried and blocked one after the other – swishing and slashing, lunging and lashing until Trump began to grow weary. Even a great dark lord like himself, struggled against two highly trained assailants. 

Eventually, Trump fell to the ground in a heap as Kylo held his saber above his chest ready to strike.

“Wait!” Rey shouted, panicked, “Snoke wants him alive.”

“Snoke?” Trump muttered in deep breaths. The dark clouds of power that had once clouded his vision were slowly fading and revealing forgotten memories. He remembered back to their time in the cave and the moment they first met. Images of Snoke’s beauty and how he looked in that dress on their first date came back into his mind but he casted them aside. He had to be strong, for America.

Kylo slowly removed the saber away from Trump and held out his arm. Rey saw the opportunity and grabbed Trump’s saber. He wouldn’t be needing it for a while.

“Come home Trump… Snoke misses you… He loves you,” Sadness passed like a wave over Rey as she spoke. She noticed how Trump’s face softened every time he heard The Supreme Leader’s name. 

“Home?” Trump muttered again under his breath, “This is my home.” Trump’s eyes averted away from them and onto the tarmac that lined the paths. A small crowd had gathered around the group. Everyone was gawking at them as if it were a street show.

“No Trump, come home to Snoke,” Even Kylo’s usually firm voice had changed to one of a gentler tone. 

“Snoke is dead!” Donald cried out as tears cascaded down his orange face, “I killed him!” His lips formed a downward sloping line and quivered every few seconds. Rey crouched down beside him and tenderly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“He’s alive and he still loves you,” Rey explained, wiping a tear from her own eye. Trump’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She nodded her head to brush away any of his doubts and helped him up. “Let’s go, Trump,” 

Just as she led him away he pulled back and held his ground defiantly. He stamped his foot like a small child, crossing his arms.

“I can’t leave my country, America needs me,” Trump concluded, glancing around at the crowd surrounding him. Their faces looked confused and some of them were laughing.

“Get out of here Trump!” A person from the back shouted. Trump flinched, searching for the voice.

“Go to Star Wars land lol!” Another voice yelled as Trump began to blush.

“Our country would be better off without you!” A third voice called as others joined in, jabbing fingers and calling out negative remarks. Rey stepped next to Kylo who looked equally as awkward. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Kylo said to Rey nervously who then turned to Trump.

“I think America has made their decision, let’s go before things turn bad,” she shouted to Donald. The orange man pursed his thick pink lips and scowled to the crowd. 

After a few more awkward moments Kylo grabbed Trump’s wrist and pulled him away from the angry mob. They sprinted back into Trump Tower, leaping over the occasional lightsaber pierced body or piece of furniture. They piled into the lift which plunged to the lowest floor after Trump tapped in his special code.

“I’m going to miss this place,” Donald sighed as they made their way towards the portal. 

Hand in hand, they jumped through the shimmering portal. The cold, damp air hit them hard as they fell. Kylo used The Force to slow their descent before landing with them on the discoloured, dented piece of ground. 

***

Trump’s heart fluttered like a butterfly trying to escape his chest. The trio had reached the base and were proceeding straight to the medical ward where Snoke was resting.

Snoke looked more like a crumpled up pile of dark clothing than anything else as he lay on the bed. His head rose slightly after he noticed Trump walking in. Kylo and Rey had decided it would be best for them to wait outside to give the couple sometime to talk things over.

Trump leant against the wall; a small part of him praying that Snoke hadn’t seen him and the other hoping that Snoke was forgiving.

“Trump,” the old grey man croaked. He sounded so petty and weak and yet Trump still didn’t pity him. He knew what Snoke was capable of, what he would probably do to his traitorous lover.

“Snoke,” Tears welled up in the inner corners of Trump’s eyes. He approached the bed side and to his dismay, Snoke grasped onto his hand. Not in a threatening way but in an attempt of comfort.

“You came back,” Snoke rasped before coughing several times. Trump nodded his head and bit his trembling lower lip.

“I have failed,” Trump began in a quivering voice, “I have failed America, I have failed you and I have failed myself… My country hates me and you hate me too.” Trump was about to continue his speech but Snoke stopped him by placing a warm hand on his cheek.

“I don’t hate you… I could never hate you,” Snoke explained, “You are in my very soul, Trump… You’re all I think about… I wanted to take over the entire galaxy and have everything I ever wanted but I don’t need to now because I have you and for us to be happy together is all I want,” 

“We’re together now,” Trump tried to flash him his usual presidential smile but it was replaced by a waterfall of tears.

“I love you Trump,” Snoke heaved himself up to be closer to Donald’s face.

“I love you more Snoke,” Trump finished as their lips met in a moment of utter serenity. 

Their moment, however, was interrupted by a rude medical droid. He rolled into the room to address Snoke.

“Do you mind? Stupid droid!” Snoke yelled at the top of his voice loud enough for the entire base to hear.

“Apologies sir,” the droid rolled closer, “But I bring news on the baby.” 

Trump felt his heart stop as he grasped at his chest. Had Snoke cheated? Whose baby was it?

“Baby?” Snoke spat, “What baby?” A small sigh of relief came out of Trump. Perhaps this was just a random baby completely unrelated to them.

“You are pregnant sir, have been for a few months now,” the droid spoke in a monotone voice.

“How is that possible? Snoke’s a man… right?” Trump looked at his lover, confused. In response, Snoke chewed his bottom lip nervously.

“I am technically both genders,” he stated. Trump felt as though he was about to pass out.

“The baby is alive and miraculously managed to survive even after your horrific burns,” the medical droid told them, “It would be best to continue to monitor the baby sir, even after your recovery.”

Snoke swallowed and blinked a few times. He glanced up at Trump who appeared to be in the same state as him.

“We’re going to be fathers… tell me you’re happy,” Snoke’s eyes met Trump’s as he gave him a desperate look. Trump’s tears of sadness flowed continuously into tears of joy.

“I am the happiest man in the world,” Trump said and they brought their lips together once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cry everytime :'(
> 
> The sequel will be filled with mini suits, mini trump hair and grey wrinkly babies :3
> 
> By the way!!! Shout out to eggroyalty for creating a beautiful narrated version of Trump Wars. I love the melodic sound of Trump's voice <3 Check it out ----> http://eggroyalty.tumblr.com/post/143193943301/okay-when-i-said-starting-wednesday-i-really


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